important things by alison feldish

+ the biggest news lately is that I'm figuring out how to acknowledge my breasts
(Nora Feldish says: "You need to take care of that.")
+ I'm also figuring out that because my laptop monitor isn't calibrated, all of my photos look terrible on your screen right now - total bummer
+ and I forgot to ever say that I was featured on this lovely website called The Pudding Weekly: http://www.thepuddingweekly.com/index.html
+ I'm generally worried, like the serious kind, about the next two weeks - my final workload is staggering, on top of my having to arrange a sit down for "the talk" with all of my professors about how much of a d-bag I am
+ but, you know, I still have honest belief in next semester being outstanding

In closing news, this blog will soon be ending. After two years of rants, raves, and unabashedly embarrassing self-portraits, ALISON FELDISH + SOME STUFF* = WEBLOG has proven to be too many different ideas and directions for one person to handle. I'm not really sure what to do with this graveyard of twenty-something hysteria yet, but I have winter break plans to develop a site for some "real writing" about, you know, the same old shit I ever write about: the Olsen twins and how awesome Sun Chips are.

I'm sorry. I hope it's a consolation that this final post included some words about my bra-shopping trauma.

oh ps happy halloween

today's game is 'guess how many hours of sleep alison feldish has gotten this week'

Here's the thing about my life right now: I've promised too many people too many things, and also, I keep a six-pack of beer at school. Around 2AM I open up a bottle and stare idly at the continent of Africa on the map above my desk. Do you want to know what it feels like to have a horrified mix of both guilt and panic thrust you into an intense period of over-compensation for the glassy-eyed state of vegetation that had consumed you the entire month previous? Simply attempt thirty-four credit hours in two semesters, subsisting on four hours of sleep or less daily, and in three simple steps you'll spend $100 on spray paint at Home Depot. Need a lifeline? Not to worry - maintaining a healthy relationship with your local barista is easier than it looks. Keep in mind that during this period you'll bare witness to more emails from your mother about the dog than you thought metaphysically possible.

Oh, and FYI: mixing cement with bare hands leads to the loss of moisture in them permanently.

And when I say permanently, I mean forever.

And when I say forever, I mean my bike is falling apart again and I'm in denial.

And when I say denial, I mean I started whitening my teeth because my coffee intake over the last three months has been that bad.

And when I say that bad, I'm referencing my urge to go buy an egg sandwich from a truck outside my school right now.

when it gets to be about 2AM my contact lenses suction to my eye balls

recent work by lewis that is making me wish i was loose enough to be making it myself

no really, i have no idea what's going on

from Nora Feldish [nfeldish@carlislecc.com]
to [alison.feldish@gmail.com], [jlfeldish@gmail.com]
date Mon, Oct 19, 2009 at 11:25 AM
subject Emailing: 8334_1066143832530_1794084380_135532_2481689_s

pugsy is going to be maryln monroe for halloween.....

i honestly have a hatred for this woman

"What to wear when elegance mixed with arctic-level
function is what you’re after? This jacket."

Is it honestly so fucking much to ask that I find a winter jacket for a woman that is under $400 and doesn't have a style and color respectively titled 'Orchard Street Parka' in 'Cocoa'?

Fuck 'feminine' marketing. Fuck forty degree weather in October. And fuck having to pay a heating utility.

today's game is 'guess how many pairs of pants alison feldish is wearing'

i'm sorry, hold on a second, was tom delay seriously in a fucking reality TV show dance contest?

Doctors and producers urged the 62-year-old to withdraw from the dance-off. But he was determined to continue Monday, performing a sufficient samba with professional partner Cheryl Burke.

[http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=113565774&ft=1&f=1001]


I'm honestly, just, like, astounded.

just a brief glimpse into where i'm at lately as demonstrated through an exchange of text messages with my younger sister

J: What is another word for "art"?


A: Masturbation.


J: COME ON!